Growing up in a difficult and chaotic family, I always felt inadequate and doubted my worth. I pretended to be someone else because I was ashamed of how people would judge me. I felt unloved, unheard, and like I didn’t belong. I struggled with feeling insecure about my self-worth, both professionally and personally. I constantly asserted myself to fit in as my subconscious kept reminding me this was necessary to be worthy.
However, people perceived me as aggressive because of my directness. It makes them feel overwhelmed. This created more resistance for me. At work, it resulted in me failing to receive a promotion, despite being a good performer. In my relationship, I couldn’t maintain emotional contact with my spouse because I couldn’t lower my defenses. Ultimately it cause the communication broke down. I never realized how much my self-imposter was impacting my life and the lives of those around me.
I embarked on a journey of self-discovery to seek the cause of my actions. I developed deep insight and discovered my strengths and weaknesses. I recognized that all these years, my brain had instinctively encouraged my effort to seek the feeling of worth and avoid insecurity. Over time, it became my behavior as it got ingrained.
Self-imposter syndrome is a common feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt that can make individuals believe they are unworthy of their accomplishments or success. The power of “self-imposter” can hijack us to become who we aren’t supposed to be. That is the process I have to unlearn and relearn. It is a harsh feeling to overcome as it’s deeply rooted in our beliefs and experiences.
However, my journey taught me that it’s possible. To combat our self-imposter syndrome, we must hardwire the good. Recognize and acknowledge our accomplishments and strengths. I learned that our brain have the potential to rewire neural pathways just like plasticine. We can weaken the negative and hardwire the positive.
Here are some ways to do this:
1. List your achievements, skills, and positive qualities.
2. Reflect on how you have overcome challenges and the skills you have developed.
3. Challenge any negative self-talk you have and reframe those thoughts.
4. View failures or setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning instead of evidence of inadequacy.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people who can offer encouragement and positive feedback.
Focusing on our positive qualities will gradually weaken the negative neural pathways. It trains our brain to pick up positive thoughts over time; the longer we train, the better it becomes. This shift in mindset takes time and requires commitment.
My constant commitment to practicing this mindset shift has made me less self-imposed and more self-inspired. I’m still learning on my journey towards self-improvement, but I’m grateful to have the support and tools to help me along the way.
Self-imposter syndrome can be a constant struggle, but how we react, reframe, and rewire it truly matters.
